Expectations

I've been thinking a lot this week about expectations. Mostly mine of other people but also other people's of mine. A message I've been hearing loudly this week is the basic Golden Rule: to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Jesus told his disciples to love others the way He loved them. (I'm a Jesus girl, myself but I think this is pretty universal.) If somebody asks you to do something, do it. If you ask someone else to do something, I don't think it's too crazy of an idea to expect that they'll do it. Pretty simple, if you ask me.

I had a conversation with a good friend early in the week about how he expects very little out of people and then he's never disappointed. Because, as he says, all people suck and if you come to accept that, then the people who don't suck surprise you for the better but you're not left with that empty feeling of disappointment when they don't come through. This is not a new concept to me. My husband feels the exact same way. He's always telling me not to expect so much so that I won't be disappointed. Then those people who consistently rise above your super low expectations of them are the ones you keep as close friends / colleagues / etc. But that's so much easier said than done.

How do you do that? How do you lower your expectations of people without lowering your own standards at the same time? It's a separation of head and heart, I guess. But, unfortunately for me, there's almost no disparagement there. I have been heart hurt a few times recently. (Well, it's been happening my whole life but I've been looking through a different lens, lately.) And it's absolutely because I expected to be treated with the same respect I would have given in that same scenario. Some situations hurt worse than others but they all hurt. And it SUCKS. Sorry. There's no other way to say it. It makes me cry and it breaks my heart. Every. Single. Time.

I know maybe I'm too sensitive about the way other people treat me. It's the only-child thing I've been dealing with my whole life. I hate that I let other people affect my emotions. It's really something I'm working on. I've meditated on this. I've journaled about it. I've prayed about it. And I think that sometimes, I do a good job of redirecting, forgiving & forgetting. But I can't change it. I will always hold people to a high standard. I will always expect respect. I will always assume that when someone lets me down, it's because they hate me and they're trying to hurt me. (Dramatic, I know.) And despite what my head knows is right, my heart will always be in control.

Namaste.